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How to Be a Great Loser 45

By

hillary clinton How to Be a Great LoserWe all lose.  That is reality.  It would be nice to always win.  But, winning 100% of the time takes lots of work and wisdom.  I am not all knowing and I am not perfect.  I don’t work hard all the time.  Therefore, I will find myself losing occasionally.  However, that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.  Learning how to be a great loser is just as important as learning how to win.

I have tried to teach my children about winning and losing.  I told them they couldn’t always win; someone has to lose.  Of course, this is during games that are between two people.  Otherwise, I teach interdependence where they should find a solution that makes both parties happy.  I also have taught about failure.  Failure isn’t a bad thing, if you learn from it and improve.

Therefore, I am happy to see that my son is watching the Beyblade cartoons that teach lessons on being a great loser.  The main character in Beyblade loses many battles, as opposed to the main character in Pokémon who always wins.

I have viewed generation Y grow up and learn that everyone is a winner.  I thought this attitude would one day be the downfall of the generation and our country.  I don’t know if I was right or wrong.  That generation has many great qualities, however they do wait for others to tell them what to do.

Many people these days expect others to take care of them, instead of taking charge of their own situation.  I guess you can call this the generation of Pokémon.  Perhaps, the makers of Beyblade saw this mistake in the “we are all winners” lesson and took it upon themselves to teach their young viewers some very valuable life lessons.

Loser Lessons

1. There has to be a balance of winners and losers.
I know most people who are believers in the “Law of Abundance” are going to argue with me on this one.  There really is enough to go around, however, someone has to work the fields for us to eat.  Let’s keep balance by all of us not acting as if we all deserve to be kings, and instead let us all contribute to society even if it means getting dirty.

2. With every losing battle, we get stronger.
Learning from our failure helps us become wiser.  We will not make the same mistakes again, hopefully.

3.  You learn who your friends are.
If someone doesn’t stick with you during your failures and only during your victories, then they are not real friends.  We should be around those that encourage us and cheer us on when we need it most.

I can’t think of any other lessons at the moment.  I would love to hear some that you have.  Please, leave a comment below with your thoughts on being a great loser.



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  1. Shivam Garg

    Hi Emily,
    This is a very good and innovative article.It is very helpful article for all those who failed.Very inspiring and encouraging article.

  2. It is great to teach people how to lose gracefully, because I have seen way too many people who need to learn that lesson. At the same time, encouraging people to win in the long run is a more valuable ideal, since it teaches many other traits including persistence, passion, and a go-getter attitude that is tremendously lacking.

    • Vena Blockett

      I learn so many things here! It is true, losing something you want brought a great lesson to correct and start over again for the win! I love the way you elaborate the lose factor and it is truly great.

  3. Love that you included a picture of Hilary on a blog page about being a good loser. She did move on with her life into an intersting position.

  4. Hey Emily,

    You’re absolutely right that we need to be less afraid of failure and learn from the lessons which it teaches.

    Here is a quote that I love from Thomas J. Watson.

    “Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It’s quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure. You are thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn’t at all. You can be discouraged by failure or you can learn from it, So go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because remember that’s where you will find success.”

  5. Hi Emily, What a great lesson! It’s true everybody can’t be first at the finish line all the time. I think of the Olympics where so many train so hard to win, but only 3 win get medals, but does that mean the other are not winners? NO! They accomplished great things, learned so much and grew personally in so many ways.
    Loved your post. It is thought provoking!
    Thank you!
    Lynn

  6. Emily,
    Life has a way of balancing out the wins and the losses. We all have both and losing gracefully is a necessary skill. As long as we are not teaching our children that losing is OK and you don’t have to try to put your best effort into what ever you are doing then Nature should take care of the rest.

    Thanks for a thoughtful post.

    RICK

  7. Brandon Wraith

    No one likes a poor loser, or winner. You need to be graceful and keep your posture whether you are losing or winning. Where there is a winner,t here is also a loser, this is not necessarily bad, it is just the way things go.

    Children need to know this especially so they can be compassionate to those who do not win as often as their-selves, so every one is happy.

    Thanks for sharing Emily

    Brandon Wraith
    Knowledge is POWER

  8. I totally agree that With every losing battle, we get stronger.
    Learning from our failure helps us become wiser. We will not make the same mistakes again, hopefully.We fail but we know to stand up from that failure,I win ourselves

  9. James Bennett | Success Books

    Hey Emily,

    Good points about the win/lose situation and today’s generation….. Rarely do you in reality that someone “wins” all the time… Except for Charlie Sheen, I guess..
    :-)
    I think that could be a big shock to people when the experience their first round of failure. I do think it’s important to teach your kids and each other to strive for win-win-win, but when you do meet failure, you have to be prepared for dealing with it and do what John Maxwell says- Fail Forward.

    Thanks for posting this. Haven’t really thought about the consequences that may be out there for our kids and other people if they aren’t taught to handle failure.

    Regards,
    James

  10. Hi Emily,
    Your post reminds me of why in my generation of baby boomers communes didn’t work out. Most people didn’t work and they were the real losers. When everybody is a winner all of the time the reward for winning gets diluted and then all of them become loser in the end.

    JOyce

  11. Hi Emily, I enjoyed reading your post. I always notice the contrast in success and losing in life. Is learning when things don’t go right and getting up and trying again. Then the loser often becomes the winner with a lot of wisdom. All the best Rosemary

  12. Hi Emily, I agree that “failing” is a necessary thing to become successful, and I think “losing” could take on a similar meaning to “failing”. For example if you lose a race, then you’ve actually failed to achieve coming first in the race! I don’t think it’s good to become too complacent about failing or losing though, I like the idea of getting feedback from these experiences and learning for next time. bye for now, Julieanne

  13. Everything that happens is 10% what happened and 90% how you react to it or in other words “your attitude.” This post shows that you certainly have a good one and that you can overcome anything with a good attitude.

    JFoster

  14. Hey Emily! Nice topic you chose here to discuss about this more better higher attitude. Especially when you raise kids (and you do it conciously with having both eyes on the success and failure side how your child develops) many situations will come along where we as parents can show our love to them by sticking with them. This includes to make them understand these differences. As you said no failure is a total loss, it’s always an inside which they (and we ourselves) can win from such a situation. E.g. children who are not good in sports and don’t see the sense in winning are good in other things and the parents should be the ones who recognising this. Thx again for sharing this topic with us. All the best, Alex

  15. Emily,

    You’re right we are taught that everyone is a winner in today’s society. Not to say someone is a loser, but whatever happened to being taught not to be a poor sport. Trust me I was told that a lot, as I didn’t like to lose. That being said it just made me work harder to achieve my goals, so I didn’t “lose” again.

  16. This is David. Hello to all. As I am new to the internet and blogging in particular,I have a lot to sort out and to learn. Thankfully, bloggers are some of the classiest and most informative people anywhere. I need all of the information I can get and this post helps a whole lot. Thank You for posting this. I am determined to hang in there because I believe in the process.

  17. Hi Emily, I agree with your main point about not expecting everything to always go your way. Children seem to learn things like electronics faster than adults. I think it is because they are not afraid of “trial-and-error.” They learn by doing. Many adults waste too much time trying to make sure they’re not going to make a mistake before they take action.

    Success is a journey, not a destination. On the way to the moon, the rockets were off-course more than 90% of the time. We can to expect to need course corrections on our journey.

    Although we often fail to accomplish what we hoped for, I believe that most real life situations are not “win-lose” (zero-sum) games. You mentioned “interdependence.” I would like to emphasize the fact that cooperation and synergy very often help everyone win.

  18. Hi Emily~ I love the angle you took with this post, sharing about the cartoons and the generational differences. I grew up hearing 2 conflicting messages ~ my mom’s mantra of “winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing”, and also her attempt to parent based on the current research where you always told your kids they were perfect, the best, etc.

    I’d say both messages really just made me an incredible perfectionist! ;) It’s taken me a lot of work to accept failure, but now I embrace it, for the reasons you shared. It is through adversity that we receive the gift of growth and possibility. Failure is a natural means to success, and I don’t think anyone who’s truly made it has gotten there without several failures along the way.

    Thanks for the great lessons.

  19. Emily

    What a great post. I agree that there is enough for everybody out there, but we do have to do the work to get it. We can attract what we need but you have to do some work!! Failure is not a bad thing I think Edison failed 10,000+ times to get the light bulb to work!! Just keep on trying and learn from those failures.

    Have a Great Day
    Chester

  20. Hello Emily

    if we are talking about loosing in games or other such competitions, then loosing is a feedback mechanism and the looser can learn from failure. In relationships and business the only results should be win/win.

    Thanks

    Perry A Davis Jr
    Music City

  21. Hi Emily, you are right. We need to lose sometimes to learn of our failures. We adquire wisdom with each defeat, and learn to do things of other form. Thanks for sharing this good post.

  22. Never did agree with the idea of teaching kids everyone wins. Because it just is not reality. In some things there are clearly winner and losers. I especially like your looser lessons: Loser Lessons

    1. There has to be a balance of winners and losers.
    2. With every losing battle, we get stronger.
    3. You learn who your friends are.

  23. Hey there Emily,
    I am one of those believers in the Law of Abundance as I am a strong believer in including and gaining an understanding of the importance of balance in life.
    With regard to The law of Abundance, the law does not state specifics as to what those abundant shapes or thoughts ARE. In essence, abundance may be simply leaving a CEO position in their desire to wait tables in a fine dining restaurant for one person. It can be the opposite for the next person as in when a waiter has a purpose in seeking a desk job in an office to fulfill that part of their life. Each and every one of us has a individual cravings and admirations as I’m sure you already know:-).

    The greatest part with this law is that there is NO LIMIT to what the universe can offer us. And IF we decide to choose the opposite of abundance (which is scarcity) we will inevitably experience THAT.

    Getting back to leaving our thoughts on how to be a great loser…

    How about congratulating them and shaking their hand with a “good job” and smile. Or having the realization that not everyone loses ALL of the time :-) . AND lastly, offer words of platitude such as “we are all winners” or “winning isn’t everything”.

    Thanks for allowing us to leave our thoughts Emily!

    -Jaclyn Castro

  24. Hi Emily,
    This has been a wonderful and enlightening post to read, as well as all of the comments! I like all the angels that have been taken because I believe that there are no losers, only people people who can do better, GROW , with opportunities to LEARN. Life is one big School, with a series of many POSSIBILITIES unfolding.
    I agree with what you said that when the chips are really down, you DO find out who your REAL FRIENDS ARE. Some people have very high expectations of each of us, and if we are not fulfilling them, they are gone. People need to take a look at their “agendas”. We all have them.
    I believe we must love unconditionally, without expectation, and like Perry said, make it a win/win whenever possible.

  25. Gege @ Internet Marketing Tip

    Your post is very motivating and opening our mind to win always, I just want to share some input. “If Losing is a habit, Winning is also a habit” Just practice more.

  26. sugahland

    Nothing really wrong with being a loser, it happens all the time, just that people don’t want to accept the fact hey do lose just like anyone else

  27. janepetita

    Hi there it should be instilled in our children’s mind that life is not all about winning, it should take also loosing to be able to be challenged on lifes bout.

  28. I feel pity to people who are taught that winning is everything. I can imagine how they will feel when they loose. I do enjoy the pleasure of winning, I love the way it makes me feel. But a lot of my strength and patience now are acquired from loosing. Great way of teaching your children the values of loosing Emily, I’ll let my kids watch Beyblade as well.

  29. Emillia

    You dot the right one,we all accept to sometime we need to be lose in life.I have viewed generation Y grow up and learn that everyone is a winner. I thought this attitude would one day be the downfall of the generation and our country. I don’t know if I was right or wrong. That generation has many great qualities, however they do wait for others to tell them what to do.it’s a good practice Beyblade it is nice there are young and know how to accept when they are lose.

  30. Harvey Jones

    I always practice honesty towards my kid as often as I can especially when it comes to life lessons. I always talk to her about sportsmanship and that not every battle can be won. What’s important is not to give up easily without a fierce fight.Because sometimes it’s not only about who won but how well you put up a fight.

  31. Grabriella

    For me there totally nothing wrong of being a loser,because i believe if you lose means the next thing you’ll know you learn again.

  32. Vannesa Yugan

    Being loser is a big challenge to me all i need to do i just focus,and you know why it is challenge to me?So the next time i know where i getting wrong then i become a successful.

  33. Sheena marie

    That’s true vannesa, being loser its make you to be strong and facing any struggles comes into your life and always remember that challenges is good way to success…

  34. xexy30

    How can we learn the value of humility if not once in our life we never loose. It is always part of life.

  35. Experience is the best teacher. Losing give me more courage and strength to fight the challenges in my life. If you quit, you will always be a quitter for the rest of your life.

  36. Alice

    Hi Emily, I love to be a great loser. Not because I like to lose, but because I enjoy the process of learning. When you enjoy the process losing or winning becomes just a detail, it’s like you have already won. :D

  37. Jeffrey

    I totally agree with Alice. Circle of life it is. Sometimes you’re on the top and sometimes on the bottom.

  38. Luis R. Lovejoy

    your are absolutely right about the “balance of winners and losers”…let´s not acting as if we all deserve to be kings! we have to deserve it!!

  39. Nelia M.

    Losing is just another recipe for the big success. Its just how you handle it that matters the most. It really doesn’t matter how much you fall but what matter most is how you stand up each time you fall.

  40. Hannah

    Hello Emily
    I love the third part where you can find a true friend in times of losing battle.
    They’r really true and many of us can relate to it.

    hannah

  41. Marrifelle

    Well for me, this is very inspirational…Thanks a lot for this post then!!

  42. Rebekah

    We all learn by doing. Many of us waste too much time trying to make sure our children are not going to make a mistake before they take action.

    Success is a journey, not a destination. On the way to the moon, the rockets were off-course more than 90% of the time. We can to expect to need course corrections on our journey.

  43. Kamilla Lecher

    Hello Admin,

    Can I subscribe to your newsletter?

    Comments are closed.

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